DO NOT ARCHIVE (though, why would you want to?)

Title: An X-File Fairy Tale -- ScullyDoc and the Three Wares
Author: RedThunder
E-Mail: redthunder@excite.com
Rating: Uh, G, I guess
Category: SH
Keywords: alternate universe
Summary: The title pretty much says it all.
Disclaimer: I'm sure CC doesn't want this, so it's mine. But the characters are his.

Author's notes: That's it. No more snacking after midnight. It gives me weird ideas.

ScullyDoc and the Three Wares
RedThunder
redthunder@excite.com

ScullyDoc and the Three Wares

Once upon a time, in a large slum area near downtown
Washington, stood the tenement where  three technologically
inclined men (otherwise known as Wares) lived. Each Ware
had its own computer. ByersWare's computer was large, with
a big monitor and a 28K connection. FrohikeWare's computer
was average in size, with a smaller screen set and a 56K
connection. LangleyWare's computer was a laptop, with 2
gigs of memory and, amazingly, a T-1 connection.

One day, FrohikeWare made a lovely Mexican omelette,
using a jar and a half of salsa, and as he took it out of the
oven, ByersWare suggested a walk, as FrohikeWare's
omelettes were much better cold (and uneaten.) So, the Wares
all grabbed their favorite weapon, and went out for a nice
tour of the neighborhood drug hideouts.

Along came a woman named ScullyDoc, who had traveled a
long way to reach the Wares. After knocking and realizing
that there was no one there, she reached behind the fourth
camera on the right to find the key to get in. Going through
the kitchen, she glanced at the Mexican omelette and swiftly
walked past to the computer room, where she sat down at
ByersWare's computer.

"This computer is just too slow," she said after three minutes
of waiting for a picture to download. So she headed over to
LangleyWare's computer and sat down. "The computer is just
too fast," she commented, while watching an animated globe
spin at a speed that should have thrown it out of orbit and into
the sun. Finally she moved to FrohikeWare's computer. "This
computer is just right," she thought as she went to the
'Medical Doctors Who Work at the FBI' chatroom.

After chatting for a few hours, ScullyDoc was tired, so she
disconnected the computer and stood up with a yawn. Going
over to ByersWare's bed, she sat down on it and said, "This
bed is too hard." Standing up, she saw that it was a counter
with a sheet on it. Then she went over to LangleyWare's bed
and laid down, only to sink a foot and a half through the
mattress. "This bed is too soft," she commented, as she
struggled to get out. Finally, she moved to FrohikeWare's
bed, and curled up on it. "Ah, this one is just right," she
thought as she went to sleep.

Shortly afterwards, the three Wares came in, covered in mud,
and no longer carrying weapons. Walking right past the
Mexican omelette, they each headed for their respective beds,
ready for a good night's sleep. ByersWare looked at his now
wrinkled sheet and cried, "Someone's been sleeping in my
bed!"

LangleyWare saw the foot-deep depression in his bed and
cried, "Someone's been sleeping in my bed!"

FrohikeWare looked at the lovely redhead in his bed and
cried joyously, "Someone's been sleeping in my bed, and
SHE'S STILL HERE!" FrohikeWare crawled into bed next to
ScullyDoc, which woke her up. ScullyDoc slapped
FrohikeWare, and left in a huff, leaving the Wares all by
themselves. Again.

AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER