TITLE: 157 Words OR Why Mulder & Scully Should Just Be Friends
AUTHOR:  Ropobop. Bring on the feedback!
E-MAIL: Ropobop@aol.com
SPOILERS:  Nope.
CLASSIFICATION: Badfic, MSR Parody, hopefully Humor
RATING:  NC-17-ish - Kiddies go home!
SUMMARY:  Chris Carter knows what he's doing, folks.  UST rules.
DISCLAIMER:  "The X-Files," Mulder, & Scully belong to Chris Carter,
1013 Productions, and Fox.  Incompatible sex is all mine.

157 Words OR Why Mulder & Scully Should Just
Be Friends
by Ropobop

Scully's eyes were plain blue, like countless other girls' eyes.   
Mulder's lips were chapped.  
Her hair was red, but it was brittle from all the dyeing. 
He thought it would be all silky in his hands, but it wasn't. 
And it smelled like Head & Shoulders.  
He tasted like halitosis, not sunflower seeds.   
She was cold, loose, and dry; her vagina smelled like fish.
His penis was small, pencil-thin, and soft.
Scully was too short. There was no way they could screw and kiss at the same time. 
She could kiss Mulder's chin and he could kiss her nose.  How utterly unromantic.
Mulder didn't know what the hell he was doing, despite watching all that porn.
He couldn't find her clitoris if he'd had a map.  And how could a G-Man not find   
the G-Spot, Scully wondered idly as he bored her to death with his annoying rubbing.
They'd never do THIS again, that was for sure.

** The End.  Mercifully. **

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